suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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