YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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