Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
false alarm. still invincible.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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