omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
