her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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