He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Girls should come with a carfax report
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize