I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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