She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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