chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize