so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Im part way to drunk.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
