My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
