I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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