he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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