party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
