Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
