Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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