Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize