Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I did not marry a roomba.
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