It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
