i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
