one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize