Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Alive.
So much puke
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
