is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
