LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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