Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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