awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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