I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
