You just made me feel so damn special
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
