I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize