He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize