Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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