Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize