You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
