You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
