i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
