unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
