You're completely useless in the revolution.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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