You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
