I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
