yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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