I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
