Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
