Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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