im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
