i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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