It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
