yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
