Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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