508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
