So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Go christen that room with your naked body.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
