My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
