Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize