Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
