my mouth tastes like poor choices
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
