Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
