he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I believe in your delicious
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
