I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
