She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
