you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
