I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
