just tell him i said nine months
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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