Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
