Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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