A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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