the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
