I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
