At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
