margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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