It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
