Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
