I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize