I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
