East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
