Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
