before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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