Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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