I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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